The Role of Leadership in Diffusing Conflict: Insights and Strategies

Conflict. It’s gonna happen. Whether it’s a passive-aggressive email, a team member with a grudge, or someone constantly stirring the damn pot, conflict is just part of running a group practice.

But here’s the deal—conflict itself isn’t the problem. Bad leadership is.

If you’re avoiding conflict, micromanaging it to death, or pretending it doesn’t exist, you’re making it worse. But when handled well? Conflict can actually strengthen relationships, clarify expectations, and improve your team dynamics.

Let’s get into how you, as a leader, can stop being the roadblock and start making conflict work for you instead of against you.

Conflict: Unavoidable, But Not a Death Sentence

Conflict isn’t bad—it’s just uncomfortable. And, honestly, that discomfort is where growth happens.

I’ve spent years working with high-conflict couples (read: folks who were really good at arguing, just not solving anything). And what I learned is that conflict doesn’t ruin relationships—bad conflict resolution does.

Same goes for your team. When conflict is handled with clarity, emotional intelligence, and actual leadership, it improves communication, solidifies roles, and strengthens trust.

If you ignore it? It festers. Resentment builds. Morale tanks. And suddenly, you’re wondering why half your team is checked out or looking for another job.

How Leaders Screw Up Conflict Resolution

Before we get into what to do, let’s talk about what not to do. Here are the three biggest leadership mistakes when handling conflict:

🔥 Being too passive – If you’re hoping issues will “work themselves out,” they won’t. Silence is just permission for dysfunction to thrive.

🔥 Micromanaging the hell out of it – Over-involvement sends the message that your team can’t handle problems themselves.

🔥 Pretending you don’t see the problem – Whether it’s blatant avoidance or the classic “I had no idea this was happening” act, not addressing conflict doesn’t make it go away. It just makes you seem out of touch (or spineless).

The Leadership Mindset Shift You Need

If you want to stop playing referee and start leading through conflict, you need to shift how you think about it.

1️⃣ Set the Tone

Your team takes cues from you. If you treat conflict like a normal, expected part of growth, they will too. If you shut down at the first sign of tension, they’ll learn to avoid conflict (or worse, weaponize it).

2️⃣ Emotional Intelligence is Non-Negotiable

This means:
✅ Knowing your own triggers so you don’t react emotionally.
✅ Regulating your response instead of snapping or shutting down.
✅ Actually listening instead of just waiting for your turn to talk.

3️⃣ Validation Over Victory

Winning the argument isn’t the goal. Understanding, clarity, and a productive outcome are. Leaders who get caught up in who’s right vs. what’s right just create more division.

4️⃣ Psychological Safety is Everything

If your team doesn’t feel safe speaking up, they won’t. They’ll just talk behind closed doors, avoid confrontation, and bottle things up. Your job is to create a culture where feedback and tough conversations are normal—not terrifying.

Common Conflict Scenarios & How to Handle Them

Here are a few real-life conflict situations you’ve probably dealt with—and how to actually fix them.

⚡ Passive-Aggressive Emails & Slack Messages

Someone’s getting snarky in writing, but no one’s saying anything out loud. Address it directly. Don’t play detective—just bring it up. “Hey, I noticed some tension in that email chain. Let’s talk about it.”

⚡ Personality Clashes (Or Are They?)

A lot of so-called “personality conflicts” are actually just unclear roles and expectations. Before assuming two people just don’t mesh, make sure their responsibilities and decision-making power aren’t overlapping in ways that create friction.

⚡ The Pot-Stirrer

You know the type. The one who thrives on drama and keeps conflicts simmering just below the surface. Call it out directly and tie it back to your practice’s values: “This kind of energy doesn’t align with what we’re building here. Let’s talk about what’s going on.”

Practical Conflict Resolution Strategies

✔️ Lead with Curiosity – Instead of assuming, ask questions: “Can you walk me through what happened?” “What’s your take on this?” “What do you need to resolve this?”

✔️ Model Healthy Conflict – If you handle disagreements well, your team will too. That means no defensiveness, stonewalling, or passive-aggression from you either.

✔️ Use Structured Feedback – Regular feedback conversations stop conflicts from getting out of control. If your team only talks about problems when they’re at a boiling point, you’re already too late.

✔️ Know When to Step In & When to Let It Play Out – Not every conflict needs you. If your team can handle it, let them. But when power dynamics are at play or conflict is spreading, it’s your job to intervene.

Bottom Line: Conflict Can Be a Tool—If You Use It Right

Conflict in your practice doesn’t have to be a disaster. When you lean into it, set the right tone, and create a culture where it’s safe to work through tension, your team gets stronger, not weaker.

Want more tools for handling conflict like a leader? 🚀

Join the Culture Focused Practice Membership for deep dives, live Q&As, and everything you need to build a practice culture that actually works.

👉 Join Membership Here https://www.taravossenkemper.com/culture-focused-practice

About the Author

Dr. Tara Vossenkemper is a gently-candid consultant who’s been in the trenches of group practice ownership since 2017. With a hearty blend of depth, irreverence, and a solid dash of humor (or so she hopes), Tara helps practice owners navigate the can-be-messy process of hiring, culture-building, vision generating, people-y issues, and all the other things that keep you up at night. When she’s not consulting, she’s probably wrangling her animals or homeschooling her kids—because why not add more chaos to the mix?

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