Diagnosing the Real Issue: Conflict or Misalignment?
Not All Conflict Is Actually Conflict (Yep, I Said It)
Just because something feels tense doesn't mean you're dealing with true conflict. More often than not, it's something sneakier—unclear expectations, a broken system, or a values mismatch that’s been quietly brewing under the surface. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking “Why is this person being so difficult?”… this is for you.
Common Misdiagnoses of Conflict
Here are four of the biggest culprits that masquerade as conflict but really aren’t:
Role Confusion: When no one really knows where their job ends and the next person’s begins. Cue the eye rolls and “that’s not my job” energy.
Ambiguous Expectations: You think you’ve been clear, but your team’s still missing the mark. That’s not resistance—it’s fuzziness on the goalposts.
Low Clarity Systems: If your systems are a hot mess, you’re gonna get blame loops. “I thought they were handling it.” “No, I did my part.” Sound familiar?
Values Mismatch: This one’s trickier. It shows up as personal tension, but it’s often just a misalignment in how people operate or what they prioritize.
Your 3-Part Diagnostic Tool (AKA: How to Not Jump to Conclusions)
Use this anytime things feel off and you're tempted to start labeling something as "a conflict."
Clarity – Are expectations actually clear? In writing? With real accountability tied to them?
Capacity – Does this person realistically have the bandwidth, skills, or support to meet those expectations?
Compatibility – Is there a cultural or values mismatch that’s quietly creating friction?
Always start with clarity, then move to capacity. Save compatibility for last unless it’s glaringly obvious from the start.
Real-Life Examples in Action
Example 1: Intake Coordinator Isn’t Returning Calls
Clarity: Have you clearly stated the timeframe for returning calls? In writing? With backup plans in place?
Capacity: Do they hate phones? Do they panic when someone’s upset? Are they juggling too many tasks at once?
Compatibility: Is their energy or communication style clashing with your practice’s vibe or values?
Example 2: Provider Keeps Cancelling or Rescheduling Clients
Clarity: Are scheduling expectations spelled out and reviewed regularly?
Capacity: Is this a 15-client-a-week person in a 32-client-a-week job? Are they maxed emotionally or logistically?
Compatibility: Maybe they’re more go-with-the-flow, but your practice prioritizes reliability. That mismatch will bleed out to clients and colleagues quickly.
What You Can Do Next (Without a Freak-Out)
Pick one situation that’s been bothering you or creating tension.
Run it through the Clarity–Capacity–Compatibility lens.
Talk to your team using this language. It takes the heat off them and shifts the focus to what’s actually going wrong.
Bonus: you’ll feel more grounded, less reactive, and way more confident in how you handle it.
Wrapping It Up
Most “conflict” isn’t about drama—it’s about systems and structure (or the lack of both). Before jumping into a hard conversation, pause and ask: “Is this really conflict... or is this just a clarity problem I’ve been calling something else?”
If you're feeling stuck, you're not alone. This stuff is hard. But you don’t have to navigate it solo.
Join the Culture Focused Practice Membership for live trainings, real-time Q&As, resources, and a private group where we get honest (and tactical) about building a practice that actually works. Head to www.taravossenkemper.com and hit “Work with Me.” to get started.
Let’s fix the real problems—not just the loud ones.
About the Author
Dr. Tara Vossenkemper is a gently-candid consultant who’s been in the trenches of group practice ownership since 2017. With a hearty blend of depth, irreverence, and a solid dash of humor (or so she hopes), Tara helps practice owners navigate the can-be-messy process of hiring, culture-building, vision generating, people-y issues, and all the other things that keep you up at night. When she’s not consulting, she’s probably wrangling her animals or homeschooling her kids—because why not add more chaos to the mix?
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